a day full of thoughts...

everyday is a new day...as some people say...but what happens to those who still lives in their painful past, would be my question...

as i woke up considering early this morning..i took my time to get out of bed...dressed up and got ready for work is my normal routine..coming downstairs to an empty home seems to be an ordinary thing as everyone else would have left to send sis to work...and i actually like the silence of being home alone..something that i have always wanted, which was to live on my own....

got to work and had some breakfast..and as i was about to start working..thoughts flooded through my mind about years, months, days and hours ago...how life has changed incidences after incidences...how i have personally changed in certain ways better and in many ways not...

realising that when i care for a person too much, i very frequently get hurt...but when i don't then i'm considered heartless...is there anyone in this lifetime who appreciates the existence of someone in their lives so much and loves that person so much more than what they are given, and yet not expect anything in return...this i doubt ever exists...everyone, including myself, would every once in awhile become a lil bit selfish and expects a return for what they do in some way...be it just noticing and being appreciated, or even a hug that can mean a thousand words, its somehow important....

i suppose its human nature to feel this way...and i have never once denied the fact that i am not perfect, no one is..only God....and to even have people in our lives who cares for us would be a bonus compared to people who doesn't have anyone at all....i just wish that the people whom i care for felt the same...

i've learned a lesson, the hard way..that if i want to show or give someone love, don't expect anything in return..give grace and have a heart of giving..but unconditionally and without any expectations...sad to say, i won't be able to the same with everyone in my life, cos some just don't deserve it all.....